


A cold night in the CVS parking lot

by artisticpear



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Bonding, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Get Along, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Reconciliation, Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen) Deserves Better, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Aid, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Sibling Bonding, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:08:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22142311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisticpear/pseuds/artisticpear
Summary: “Just pick me up.” Connor groaned. There was a pause on the other end. “Please. It’s cold.”
Relationships: Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy
Kudos: 52





	A cold night in the CVS parking lot

**Author's Note:**

> TW: SELF HARM MENTION, SUICIDE ATTEMPT MENTION, FIRST AID

Connor sat in an abandoned park near the beginning of the neighborhood they lived on. He sat crisscrossed on one of the play structures that they had, his arms stretched out in front of him. If anyone had come by it would have been evident what had happened. He pulled down his sleeves and weakly hopped down from the structure, walking towards the stores that sparsely appeared hear their house.

The neighborhood he lived in was right in the middle of a group of neighborhoods on the side of town that had only a few stores. There were a few different retail stores and a local bakery on the path he was walking. He checked his phone. 11:23. Damn, when did it get so late. He kept walking to the few stores ahead of him.

Connor eventually arrived at a CVS. He walked in giving a weak wave to the manager before heading to their first aid section. He grabbed some gauze, a bottle of peroxide, and some cloth tape and head to the counter where only one employee was working.

“Did you find everything today, sir?” The cashier asked, ringing up the items that were set in front of him.

“Yeah.” Connor muttered.

“That’ll be $11.37 sir.” Connor handed the guy a twenty and eventually got his change and slid it in his pocket, taking the bag. He walked outside and sat on the sidewalk as far away from the doors as possible. He picked up his phone and dialed Zoe’s number before setting it between his head and his shoulder as he picked open the packages and sliding up his sleeves.

“Connor? Why are you calling me it’s like 11:50 or something.” She whined a bit. He sighed, his breath fogging in the cold night air.

“I need you to pick me up. I'm at the CVS down the street.” Connor said, ripping open the plastic that sealed the alcohol with his teeth and spitting it to the side.

“You- Why are you at the CVS?”

“Just pick me up.” Connor groaned. There was a pause on the other end. “Please. It’s cold.”

“I'm on my way. Be ready to explain when I get there.” The call was ended and Connor slid his phone back into his pocket. Fuck. That’s the last thing he wanted to do, explain.

He popped open the cap of the peroxide and poured it on his arm. He hissed slightly as the liquid made the wounds feel like they were opening up and burning. He knew they werent though, he had done this too many times before. He wiped the excess off of the back of his arm with his other sleeve.

Just as he had opened the bandages, a car pulled up in the parking lot. He squinted at the headlights before they dimmed and pulled in near him. He grabbed the bag and opened the door to the passenger side. “Before you say a word, I will explain _after_ I finish this, got it?”

“Okay.” Zoe said as he sat down.

“I was hoping to be done before you showed up but fuck that i guess.” He put the bandages and tape in his lap and the bag in the floorboard before moving his arm to bandage it. She hadn't seen his arms after around middle school. The gut feeling in her stomach told her she didn't really want to either. “If you have to look away that’s fine. I understand.” He unrolled the bandages a little before feeling a warm hand on his bicep.

“Let me help.. Please.” She said with a caring yet hurt look in her eyes. He didn't want her touching him. Hell, he didn't want her to know either but whatever sick god above was watching didn't give a shit about what he wanted and what he didn't. He looked at her for a minute then shifted to turn towards her. He couldn't hide it from her anymore.

“Be careful.” He muttered as he handed her the bandages. She held his arm delicately and started to wrap it up.

“You can talk while I'm doing this.” She paused. “Rather, could you talk while I'm doing this?” He sighed and nodded.

“I just.. I don't know.” He paused. “I .. I don't want to live in a place where all i do is get yelled at.. Where i feel alone and useless and so fucking pathetic.” He wasn't looking at her. “All i ever do is fuck things up. I can't even do _this_ right.”

“I know it probably doesn't help,” Zoe said in a soft tone. “But i'm glad you didn't do this right.” She took the tape from him securing the bandages before tossing it in her passenger floorboard. “I know what you were trying to do.. And i.. I don't want you to try to do that again, ok?”

“Can’t promise anything.” He muttered. “I didn't think you would actually give a shit.”

“You didn't.. What?” She sounded a lot more hurt and frustrated. “Connor, i'm your sister. I’d be fucking devastated.” He sighed and looked down until he heard a slight hiccup. He looked over and Zoe was desperately trying to wipe her eyes. “I-I… I don't want to lose you, Connor. You may be a dick-wad sometimes but you’re my brother and i don't want you to fucking die.”

“Zoe… I..” He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry..” Connor looked back down awkwardly.

“I know. I'm not trying to blame you or anything, I just.. Fuck.” Zoe ran her hands over her face. She calmed down a bit and looked at her older brother. “I don’t want you to feel alone. Because you’re not. I’m always here for you Connor. Wake me up in the middle of the night if you need to. Just don't… don't..”

“Yeah i understand what you're saying, Zo. I guess I never really thought about.. The other side.”

“It's fine. I love you, big bro.” She smiled sadly and weakly punched him in the chest. Connor got out of the car. “C-connor wh-” He walked around the car and stopped next to her door. She opened it and stood up, receiving a hug from this tall emo mess she called a brother. “Connor…”

“I love you too Zoe. Thank you for being here for me.” She smiled and rubbed his back as she hugged him.

“No problem.” She said. “Once you’re done, get back into the car so i can get you home before you catch a cold.” Connor nodded.


End file.
